Archive for March, 2011

Just a quick note today…

March 27th, 1989 I walked out of rehab after spending 21 days learning some new skills about how to live my life in a way that helped me progress towards a better life than the life I had when I entered rehab.

Part of that for me was to replace drugs and alcohol with other more serving habits that empowered me to deal with powerful emotional and mental toxicity.

When I walked into that rehab center I was scared out of my mind.

My t-shirt was literally soaked with sweat and I was 100% uncertain about what was in store for my life.

I had no self confidence, no belief in myself, no self worth, and could see absolutely ZERO value my life had in any way.

The only thing I knew is that after I had that very profound and powerful experience that led me to calling the rehab center, I needed to find a way, ANY way, to stop drinking and doing drugs every day.

I tried to stop 100 times before but I just didn’t have the confidence, wisdom, or ability to learn how to believe in myself enough to find even a shred of value in myself that was worth fighting for.

And even after I was sober for 2 years, I still was a giant mess! I still saw no hope of living a life I could be proud of that was full of all the things I wanted but never had growing up.

Love…
Happiness…
Support…
Fulfillment…
Adding value to others…
A place where it was safe to smile and laugh…
A strong, caring, and loving family…

And oddly enough, an environment where I could be myself without fear of judgment.

So here’s the point and the lesson in all of this.

Today I have ALL of those things and much much more at levels I didn’t know were possible back then.

But…

It wasn’t JUST because of rehab, or JUST because of my own nuclear intense journey to find answers and tools and wisdom, or JUST because of anything..

It was a progression.

Rehab got me 2 years further in my life but I stopped getting value from it. I needed more if I was to continue to pursue and hope to ever find the answers I was looking for to undo the toxic corruption I had in my head, heart and soul.

Each action I took lead me to a destination I could never have imagined but it was the destination where my next journey began.

They weren’t always happy places and sometimes it appeared that going backwards was a FAR better option.

I was scared throughout the entire process… And through dealing with that fear I learned how to forge courage.

I felt alone through much of the journey… And through that I learned how to trust and allow love and support into my life.

I battled with self confidence in a huge way… And through that I developed certainty and trust in myself.

I experienced almost unbearable frustration… And through that I added resilience to my tool box.

I cried many tears of deep dark sadness… And through that I learned love.

I was betrayed by literally every person I trusted… And through that I learned forgiveness.

I took an emotional and mental journey through more adversity, uncertainty, self doubt, fear, feelings of being unworthy of happiness and success that had so many twists and turns that half the time I wasn’t sure if I was coming or going.

The majority of it was all housed in my mind and my beliefs I formed through the evidence I experienced and decided to label as the “truth” about life as I was growing up.

But looking back on it today…

I actually had a couple tears roll down my cheek. Because back then, all of these things would take a miracle for me.

Today I’ve been married to my best friend for 14 years.
I’ve formed unbreakable friendships with some of the most amazing people you could ever meet.
I’ve got 2 incredible daughters that add more value to the world than I could ever hope to add.
I’ve made tons of money (which means I got to have fun and SPEND tons of money)
I’ve given back to thousands of peoples lives and made at least a speck of an impact in the world in a positive way.

And my favorite piece of all of this is I actually have built a little family of my own who is very close, loving, supportive, light hearted, fun, happy, almost to the point that it’s ridiculous (like one of those after school specials TV families!)

In short… I made to a place I didn’t believe was possible for me to make it to, from a place that was as far away from where I’m at now as could be.

NONE of this is perfect. NONE of it is without its own set of challenges. And my life is not perfect. I’m just a regular guy like all the rest of us.

It’s been a bumpy ass ride to put it lightly but I wouldn’t change a single minute of it.

Whatever you are reaching for in your life, even if it seems so far out of the realm of possibility for you today, maybe you can find hope and inspiration in this humble attempt to show you that MIRACLES are possible and they aren’t always delivered on a silver platter by Angels.

Humbly,

Mike

P.S. If you took the man I am today and dropped me into my world from 20 years ago I’d kick so much ass they’d classify me as a lethal weapon! But when I was there 20 years ago, it was very scary.

Don’t sell yourself short. You have more ability than you know. Just keep stomping your way forward to where you want to go.. I can’t say you’ll get there but I can say this…

You’ll get there OR to a better place and you’ll develop into a person who is driven by your desires and controlled by your vision and passion.

Where most people go through life driven by and controlled by their fears…