Archive for April, 2011

This is a personal email I wrote to my friend Joshua. I don’t normally send my personal emails publicly but this one is very appropriate for ALL of us.

It’s the most powerful conversation I’ve ever had with myself and a good reminder for all of us…

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J,

After our talk about helping more people have a breakthrough yesterday, and the ENORMOUS amount of stuff people need to filter through, I started thinking about what caused my change.

What caused the shift in my life that really set me on a new path that lead to creating more of the things in life I wanted like getting married, building a family, getting in good shape so I could feel good and vibrant and not like the fu###ng grim reaper every day…

And MONEY (cuz we know that’s what the majority of people we communicate with are focused on)

This is one of the most powerful conversations I’ve ever had with myself and oddly enough, I’ve never really shared it with anyone. It’s pretty simple really but maybe it can spark some ideas or inspiration that we can use to help our subscribers and customers and add some value to their lives…

So after the bullet in that .357 magnum misfired and I was left sitting there with the cold steel of the barrel of that gun in my mouth, I FREAKED OUT (obviously).

And with a heavy heart and tears streaming from my eyes, I knew I was at a crossroads. I knew it was time to dig as deep as I could to find answers, no matter how obscure or weird or unusual they seemed. It was time to let go of any judgment about the world, my life, myself, or other people.

And then I asked myself this question:

“If I’ve created everything I’ve done and created everything I am and I’ve actively been participating in the creation of every aspect of my life, why am I not happy with what the sum of what my life has become?

If I created this, everything in my life, by my choices and the actions I took based on those choices, and those choices were driven by my desires for what I want and don’t want, how in the holy living hell can it be that I’m not getting what I want out of life!?

Because I know that I DO want happiness, I DO want money, I DO want to feel at peace with who I am, I DO want to feel fulfilled and like I have some sort of purpose on this rock, I DO want love, I DO want control, I DO want freedom, I DO want a lot of stuff that I DON’T have.

Those are my desires. Those are things I want and I know I want them. And anyone that tries to feed me this line of bullshit about how “I don’t want them bad enough” or “they are not burning or core desires” or I don’t have a big enough “why” can kiss my ass!

I DO WANT THAT STUFF G@# DAM&^% IT and I’ve wanted it my entire life!!

So If I have those desires, and my desires direct me in making decisions and choices, and I’m taking action to get those things, WHY THE F%^$ DON’T I HAVE THEM!.

The only thing I have left to focus on is my beliefs I guess…

So what the hell are your beliefs Mike? How do you figure out what your own beliefs are when they are the thing that paints the canvas of your life? That’s like asking a fish to explain water!!!

OK… Settle down killer! Just look at your life. Look at it objectively through the eyes of a complete stranger that just had a mind meld with you and was there to do a non-judgmental assessment of the sum of your life. That would probably work…

My beliefs are that the things I want from life aren’t possible for me. The life I want to live seems too outrageous for me to step into it. I’m not that person who can or even should get that kind of stuff.

I’m just a scared and confused idiot who just put a loaded gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger for hells sake! Why would ANYONE waste any resources on a piece of shit like that?

Not only that, I don’t believe I am capable of living in that world.

I see myself a certain way and I’ll only grow to the point my life fits that self image.

I mean how would I feel going to a party in a Hollywood mansion surrounded by people who were rich, confident, and wearing clothes that cost more than I make in a year?

I’d feel out of place and insecure. And when I see myself at that party, I’m NOT at the same level those people are. I don’t belong. I don’t fit in.

How would I feel if I suddenly got a windfall of money dropped in my lap?

I’d feel guilty, like I didn’t deserve it and that everyone was looking at me with resentment in their eyes so intense it could split the heavens because they worked their asses off to move ahead in life and I’m just some lucky loser. Everyday would be filled with rejection and bitterness.

How would I feel if I had kids? If I got married? If I needed to be the protector and provider for a family I built?

I can’t even imagine that being real. I can’t even take care of myself let alone a little kid. I don’t even know how to love myself, how am I supposed to love my wife? I don’t even have a bank account and I have no money to my name. I live bouncing around from room to room and have no stability, how could I raise a family?

My beliefs are that I am destined to fail so no matter how bad I want success, no matter how hard I work for it, no matter how much blood sweat and tears I put into creating it, it will never be. (Very eye opening for me at the time)

Unless….

What if you put all of that blood sweat and tears into re-shaping your beliefs about yourself? Who says that’s not something you can do? What if you put your desires on hold for a minute and just 100% focused on finding ways to redefine who you are?

You got sober right? You beat that part of your life so you know that change is possible right? Maybe not always easy but it IS possible!

Why not focus ALL of your anger, love, hate, fear, frustration and all of the other powerful emotions you’re having on creating change in your beliefs about who you are?!?!

Stop waiting for a second chance and just give yourself one man! A second chance to become who ever the hell you want or decide. Like witness protection for Mafia rats only without someone trying to find you to “whack your ass”.

I could make this fun actually. OK Mike, let’s do it. Let’s give it a shot. Hell what do you have to lose anyway?”

So J…

That was it for me dude. That’s when I set out to find the answers and you know what man?

That’s when things quickly started to change in my life, I mean very quickly!

I’ve always had strong desires, and I’ve always had beliefs about myself but…

Shit bro, we ALL do! Everyone one of us deals with this stuff on a daily basis. We just don’t slow the f$#@ down enough to stop and take a close look at.

I HAD to because I was 100% out of other options so I might have had an unfair advantage from that perspective but I had a STEEP mountain to climb as well.

Beliefs win EVERY TIME! It’s only when I started to kick my old beliefs asses and nurture some new ones that I started to build the amazing life I’m so grateful for and have today…

And maybe if we can find a way to get this idea into our subscribers minds, it can help them…

Peace hommie! :-)

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If you take a second to objectively examine your beliefs about yourself and your life I bet you discover there are some things in there that could use a bit of an overhaul!

Mike